Playoff Baseball Preview

October. It's here. Finally.

Playoff baseball, ladies and gentlemen. Perhaps my favorite time of the year. If it's not, it is somewhere near the top (March Madness, Thanksgiving Week, 4th of July...they're all up there somewhere. It's easier to just not rank them.)

And with that said, it's time for The FYC's Annual Playoff Preview (as a disclaimer: I am the same guy who drafted Dauntee Culpepper with the first pick in his fantasy football league, so hear me now and hear me loud when I say: "I have no idea what I'm talking about. There is a reason I never bet on sports: Because I am always wrong.") I'll go ahead and make some picks on who I think will win, along with what will actually happen.

ALDS: The Bronx Yankees of New York v. The Las Angeles Angels of Anaheim

I jumped on the Angeles bandwagon back in early June, and I'm not jumping off now. They've got K-Rod, Vlad, a guy who looks suspiciously like Keifer Sutherland (Jarrod Washburn) and Big Fat Bartolo Colon. They can win. The Yankees? Not as good as a team's whose payroll is around $230 million probably should be, but they're still pretty good.

Prediction: Angels in 4
What Will Happen: Fox refuses to allow an ALCS not featuring the Yankees. Yanks in Four.

ALDS: Boston Red Sox v. Chicago White Sox

Wait...The Red Sox made the postseason? I had no idea. Of course, I have been living on Mars with my fingers in my ears for the last three months. Actually, if that were to happen, ESPN would probably send Buster Olney off in a rocket ship to tell me about the Sox (and either Pedro Gomez and/or Joe Morgan would be accompanying him to give me a Barry Bonds update.) Fuck 'em both.

Prediction: Red Sox in 3
What Will Happen: I really won't care who wins. But, it will probably be the Sox. Yes, the Sox will definitely win.

NLDS: Houston Astros v. Atlanta Braves

These games should be a real slugfest ("slugfest" meaning a bunch of 2-1 final scores.) Pettitte, Clemens, and Oswalt pitching against Hudson and Smoltz (no Hampton, though) and both teams have had trouble scoring runs for extended periods over the season. This one is totally up in the air. Absolute crap-shoot.

Prediction: Houston in 5
What Will Happen: This will be a good series. And by good, I mean boring.

NLDS: St. Louis Cardinals v. San Diego Padres

The Cardinals clinched their division early and went on cruise control towards the end of the season to finish with, or as some would say stumbling to, a 15-13 record in September.

The Padres, however, had some tough luck through out most of the regular season, only to surge ahead of their division, getting hot in September to finish with a 16-14 record.

Conclusion: Both teams have been mediocre in the last few months, but only one of those teams was being mediocre while starting the likes of Skip Shumaker, Hector Luna, So Taguchi, Scott Seabol, Mike Mahoney, Einer Diaz, John Mabry, Chris Duncan, John Gall, and John Rodriguez.

Prediction: Cardinals in 4
What Will Happen: Chris Carpenter's right arm tears away from his body during the second inning of Game 1, landing in section 354, row 2. Padres win it in 5.

Playoff baseball, folks. It doesn't get any better than this. I'm heading down to Busch Memorial tomorrow morning for Game One, NLDS. Carp v. Peavy. Let's hope it's a good game (and that Carp exits late in the game with all of his limbs attached.)

I really would like to laugh about the "Carp's arm flies off in the 1st inning", but based on the teams playoof history, it'll probably will come true.

2000 - Matheny slices tendon in finger putting hunting knife birthday gift back in sheath, Garret Stephenson's arm falls off, Rick Ankiel's head explodes.

2001 - McGwire's body begins disintegration that has left him a shell of his former self.

2002 - Rolen dislocates shoulder in collision with Alex Cintron.

2004 - Carp misses playoffs with irritated nerve in bicep.

2005 - Al Reyes blows out elbow in last game of regular season.

To quote The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly "God is on the Padres side, because he hates the Cardinals too!"
Sweet win for you guys today-losing today probably eliminated any tiny chance the Pads may have had.
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