Quick Thoughts: Cold Baseball

When I walked out to my car this evening, there was something noticeable in the air. Familiar, too. I know I had smelled it before… what was it? It wasn’t the smell of yeast and onion rolls I would waft when Anheuser Busch would be cooking up a fresh batch of lager down in my old ‘hood. But it was close to that. It was… it was…


It’s in the air, kids… Playoffs are in the air! If you are planning on heading down to Busch for some cold baseball this October, you need to get your virtual ass over there and register by Sunday evening. And if you want to actually see a game, you should probably opt for the NLDS tix, ‘cause this Cardinals team isn’t exactly “good” and I’m not about to guarantee a NLCS berth.

But 9th inning rallies give me optimism, and last night Albert Pujols reminded me that he can single handedly win however many fucking games as he wants. It helps if Brad Lidge is pitching, of course.

But get into the playoffs and hope for the best... that's the gameplan. It’s good to know that the Cards are 7-0 this season against the Dodgers, but right now, who the hell knows who they are going to get in the first round?

But all they gotta do is throw Chris Carpenter out there for two starts, hope to get a win out of Jeff Suppan and move on to the NLCS.

Once there, throw Carp for three starts and hope to get another win out of Soup (this is the adage being thrown around on Viva El Birdos as “Carp and Soup… The rest are poop”) and move onto the World Series. Hey, crazier things have happened, right? Like John Mark Karr.


I seriously feel bad for Lidge. As much as I hate the Astros, I can’t help but feel sorry for him. Albert Pujols has literally destroyed the man’s career.

If he goes all Donny Moore on us, I think El Hombre owes somebody an apology.


If KTRS would simply give Mike Shannon a bottle of scotch and three hours of air time, would anyone not tune in? I’m no super genius (or are I?), but I’d be willing to bet that 100 percent of the St Louis area would listen “Mike Shannon’s Ridiculous Drunken Ramblings.”


Since the Cardinals finally have a guy named Wilson on the team, is it too much to ask for the PA guys to conjure up a little Matty Mo magic and play some Phish? Like, preferably the song “Wilson.” I’m not saying P-Dub has to get totally into Phish dorkdom and call himself the “Duke of Lizards” or anything… I just remember hearing 15,000 people all yell “WILLLLLSONNN!!!” in unison knocking my proverbial socks off as a stoned 18 year old, so why wouldn’t it tickle my fancy to hear 42,000 people do the same as a drunk 26 year old?

Get on the ball, Busch Stadium sound guys. Get on the ball and make this happen.


Again, I’m not saying the Cards are “good” or anything, but I can’t help but to get excited about cold baseball. Scotty Ballgame getting all sorts of fired up for the first time in his career… Braden Looper doing a good job… Albert Pujols trying for the rare “unnecessary walk off inside the park home run”… a bunch of grown men jumping around like five year olds hopped up on Jolt Cola (watch the vid of Pujols' game winner, it's tremendous boner inducing) … and it’s official: The Cardinals have sucked me back in for yet another heart attack inducing October.


Text messages I received in a five minute span last night:

Mozzy: “I wonder if lidge is shitting himself yet cause he has to close a game.”
Cathy: “Fuck yeah! Fuck Lidge!”
Krimil: “I love him” (“him” being either El Hombre or Dave Coulier, I’m not sure which.)
Mozzy: “Morning’s headline: ‘Professional Baseball Player Shoots Himself in Face.’”

Yep, the kids are getting ready… October is coming up fast.


Speaking of my jerkass friends, we’re all planning on making some homemade Cardinals Tee’s for the playoffs (and by “we” I mean my super crafty friend Erin.) Suggested tee’s so far:

"Do it Dunc!"
"Put in Wainwright's bulge!"
"Taguchi-san is number one!"
"Get 'em next time, Miles"
"Chris Duncan Eats Babies"
"Joe Pettini Would Like More of Your Whiskey, Please"
"Ronnie Belliard for Pope!"
"I Can't Believe the Cardinals Are In The Playoffs Considering They Sucked So Bad This Year"
"Adam Wainwright Can Bull My Pen Anyday"

You guys got any other? Drop ‘em off in the comments and help make those tee’s happen.



I would like a Tyler Johnson Bukkake shirt.
Oh man, I never been so happy to see a baseball player get hit by a pitch. It sucks for Spezio's foot, but it got Pujols up to bat. Before that even happened though, I was wondering if Lidge would've done something like "Load the bases intentionally to get to Pujols". Much like in the movie "Rad" when, in the final race, hotshot Bart Taylor purposely waited for Cru to catch up to have a fair race. But instead, Lidge shit his britches for all of St. Louis and Houston to see. I seriously think he sobbed himself to sleep last night. Poor guy's career is over.
And October is definitely in the air. Effin' awesome. I could feel it when I went outside my house last night after Pujols hit his double and I screamed, "Fuck yeah Pujols" at the top of my lungs. You might have heard me.
New Playoff Tee ideas:
"I Wanna be like Josh and Han "you a" cock"
"Who needs a bullpen when you have Chris Carpenter?"
"Enter the Carp" get it? yeah, thats right.
"Scotty will rip your head off"
My fraternity brother is essentially Shannon's assistant at KTRS, and he swears that Shannon never drinks before or during the broadcast
Not during the games, no. But get down to the President on a random night at 3 am, and I hear there is a good chance of seeing him sloshed.
I thought you would find it interesting that for my two playoff tickets for the Tigers it cost me $3,200 up front last week.

Good thing that is refundable considering how they are playing. The Red Sox break my heart, the Tigers break my heart! Nothing new in my baseball world.
Michelle, for $3200 I hope those tickets are made of gold and cure SARS. Also, you have $3200 laying around? You should buy me something. Why? Just because.
Those t-shirt ideas just made my day, or night... what time is it? Man I need to get to sleep.
$3,200 laying around? Not so much. It was called...open one of those Tigers credit cards for the free blanket and then put all of your playoff tickets on them while there is still 0% APR. But if you want me to buy you something the time is now because the 0% doesn't last forever.
It's been ages since i posted here. Been sick, busy etc. There are not many games left this season. It has had it's up's and down's. Meet some new Reds i adore. Meet David Ross again. Knew of him when was a Dodger. Missed Sean Casey a lot. Reds then got rid of Austin Kerns. Seen the Reds 9 times this year at Busch Stadium. Saw the Phillies 3 times. Seen The Astros 3 times. Gonna see the Astros for my 4th time September 13th. Gonna go to games in 2 weeks to see Brian Giles.No idea who will make the playoffs.First Choice Reds. Second Choice Phillies. 3RD Astros. 4TH Choice Padres. Padres just because of Brian Giles, Geoff Blum and Trevor Hoffmann. I hope to at least attend one playoff game. But if the Cards don't make it won't go to any. Because i can't afford to travel. But if i had to choose. I'd rather the Reds win the Central and just have to watch them on tv.Seeing them on tv would be better than them not making the playoffs at all.
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