The FYC

Thought's running through my head while I watched a game which seemed to never end and drank a giant rum and coke which felt the same:

• From my buddy Dirty: "Man I never played little league baseball but after listening to Joe Buck, I feel like I have."
• My response: "I've never been a complete and total retard, but after listening to Tim McCarver I feel like I have."
• What Ron Burgandy and Co. would say about Roy Oswalt's fifth inning:

Ron Burgundy: Boy, that escalated quickly... I mean, that really got out of hand fast!

Champ Kind : It jumped up a notch!

Ron Burgundy: It did, didn't it?

Brick Tamland: Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart!

Ron Burgundy: I saw that! Brick killed a guy! Did you throw a trident?

Brick Tamland: Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident!

Ron Burgundy: Brick, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder.

• That moment of silence for Rosa Parks was one of the loudest two seconds I have ever heard
• El Duque...coolest delivery ever.
• Define irony..."An all white baseball team in Texas playing Lil Troy's 'Wanna be a Balla' between innings."
• Define irony, Part II..."An all white baseball team in Texas starting a freestyle battle-off between these guys"
• And yes, the Astros, don't have a single African-American on their team. I thought for a few moments that Ezequiel Astacio might be black, but it turns out he's from a rare race of people, officially known only as "ugly."
• When I see that's it's the 11th inning and Bobby Jenks is warming up in the bullpen...I have to think, if anyone is going to give up a cheap home run that only travels 312 feet into left field, it's some fat kid that throws 100 mph, right? I mean, Samuel "Screech" Powers could basically stick a pool cue over the plate to hit a Jenks fastball and the momentum alone would send it into the Crawford boxes. I don't see this one ending well.
• Of course, nobody told the Cardinals that the left field wall was only 312 feet away during the NLCS. If only I could grab Doc Brown's DeLorean and go back three weeks...I'd tell Abe Nunez the secret to winning at Dick Cheney Field is a simple pop up down the left field line.
• "Pitchers have to be patient, just like hitters have to be patient." - Tim McCarver
• "McCarver, you are the worst announcer since they let David Duke call the Miss Black USA pagent." - Joe Buck
• There has to be a bad feeling for the Astros fans right now...I know it well...it was happening to me about this time last year. Nobody wants you to win the World Series. And I bet, from time to time, you have been thinking to yourself that if you're going to lose the Series, it might as well be to the White Sox.
  
  I thought the same thing last year, albeit about the Red Sox.
  
  Here's what happens...when I thought I was in dire straits because my Cards had not won a World Series since I was two....it would dawn on me that generations upon generations of Red Sox fans would be reveling in their first championship, and I felt a little bit better.
  
  Now, realizing that the Astros have never been in, yet alone win, a Series, how about the generations of South Siders who are rooting on the White Sox. I'm sorry, Astros fans, but the baseball gods are against you on this one. They're kind enough to give you a sniff of the Series, but cruel enough to not let you taste it.
  
  My Grandmother was born in 1928. She died in 2003. She was as die hard of a Chicago fan as one can be. When I was 10 I would mow her lawn and she would pay me in Sports Illustrated, Baseball Weekly's, and Topps Cards. These are things which she collected, at the age of 63, not because she had a grandson, but because she was a Sox fan. There are hundreds of thousands of people like these looking out for the Sox in baseball heaven right now. If they lose...I will be shocked.
• Does anyone think that they could possibly out drink Bobby Jenks? Because you can't. Unless you can drink 137 beers in one sitting.
• 13th inning- "Later tonight, it will be Freddie Garcia against Brandon Backe" - Joe Buck. I don't care who you are...a World Series game happening withing 18 hours of when the last one ended, and on the same calendar day, is bad ass.
• Ummm....Geoff Blum...I was actually expecting a less likely hero of this game. Like maybe the ghost of Ted Lyons coming out of the bullpen or Rock Raines breaking a vial in his back pocket, pinch running for Joe Crede and stealing home in the top of the 15th.
  
  Geoff Blum game winning home run...someone give me the Vegas odds on that one.
• If this was a Cards series, I would have had at least 3 heart attacks by now. I mean, the need for defibrillators in the south side of Chicago and Houston (two ares which have plenty to worry about when it comes to health, regardless of the nerves which their ball clubs bring) has to be at an all time high right now.
• I need a nap.

# posted by Boxcar Fritz @ 1:11 PM