12/22/2004

 
A quick trip to Webster's dictionary teaches us the following:

Brag
v.brag(-ging )
1. To assert boastfully

Right
n. right(s)
1. A just or legal claims or title

Braggin' rights
n. Busch Braggin' Rights
1. The annual December showdown between The University of Illinois and the University of Missouri basketball programs
2. A legal contract regarding state's rights and citizens ability to drink Busch brand beer.

And the latest chapter in the Busch Braggin' Rights showdown is tonight.

I'm not going to write any sort of preview. No time. Must start drinking soon.

But here are the legal implications regarding The Busch Braggin' Rights game.

The citizens from the winning school's state may consume Busch beer freely and without judgement for the next year. The citizen's from the losing school's state may too consume Busch beer...but at a cost.

Here's an example of what happens:
My roomate Matt is from Missouri. I am from Illinois.
Since Illinois is the reiging Braggin' Rights Champ, any time I witness Matt drinking a Busch beer, I am allowed (legally, I might add) to take his beer from him and consume it myself.
Why? Because my state has The Rights. Fuck, we earned that right!

I'm sure that many of you are well aware that U of I's basketball program is currently on what I would call a "hot streak." This isn't any hot streak. This would be like me having sex with Catherine Zeta-Jones and Jennifer Anniston on the same weekend and casually mentioning that I was "on a hot streak."

Illinois is pure and simply crushing mother-fuckers. No Holds Barred (also a great Hulk Hogan movie, as was Suburban Commando.) They are currently 10 and 0. The average margin of victory is just south of 20. The best description I could give of their play this year is that if they were the home team in a basketball video game, the level of the visiting team would be set to "Mildly Retarded."

Mizzou, on the other hand, is not exactly at a pinnacle in their programs history. Rife with scandal, sacked by NCAA regulations, and coming off loses to Houston and Davidson this season...The Tigers do not have much to lose.

And that is what scares me.

When teams have nothing to lose, everything to gain, and are playing a hated rival...strange things happen (see Boston v. New York, 2004 ALCS for further proof.)

Afterall, that's why we don't play the game on paper, right?

Braggin Rights! Let's Do It!


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"I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize the state of Missouri."