The FYC

6/24/2005

It's 3:30 in the afternoon and I'm sitting around topless, reading the funnies, and celebrating my hangover when my cellular telephone rings. It's my friend Erin calling to see if I'm okay. Well, I'm a few pounds over weight and I'm developing a lazy eye, but other than that, I'm fine. No, not that, she says, turn on the news.

It seems that my neighborhood is exploding. And not in some sort of clever business/real estate marketing sense. It's literally exploding.

So far on the news, I have learned the following Things:
1)Little gas tanks are exploding from inside of this plant and landing in the surrounding neighborhoods. Sweet.
2)There are toxic fumes. Double sweet.
3)Traffic is going to suck. Damn it!
4)No injuries have been reported yet. Let's hope that doesn't change.

I'm not particularly nervous, since I do have some experience with flammable, toxic things falling out of the sky and landing somewhat within my proximity (Veteran:Detroit '84) however the last time it happened I had a gas mask and big concrete bunkers to hide in like a pussy. Now, I have a Honda and low self esteem.

Could this lead to Summer '05 in the StL being known as the Summer of The Fire?
Could anything even remotely good possibly come out of all this?

# posted by Boxcar Fritz @ 4:15 PM