12/15/2005
"Have A Great Summer!"
Awkward-Looking-Teenage-Albert-Pujols would like to welcome to St. Louis the Cardinals newest relief pitcher (and future 8th inning extraordinaire), Braden Looper:
"Braden,
I hope your season with us is better than my Adam Morrison-esque mustache!
Get ready for some curtain calls! These fans are nutzz, dawg!
Have a great summer, man!
BFFL (best friendz for life),
Awkward-Looking-Teenage-Albert-Pujols
PS. Don't let So Taguchi's calling you 'whitebread' and 'cracker' get to you. He's kind of a jerk. And surprisingly racist."