12/08/2005

 

Hot Stove? Try Piss Warm Stove.

(I am extremely pissed off right now, just so you know)

The Cardinals came into the offseason with a few needs which were clear to everyone. A front line starting pitcher, one (if not two) corner outfielders, a second baseman, and some help out in the bullpen.

Here is a rundown of players who had been targeted (supposedly)

AJ Burnett? He's up in Toronto.

Brian Giles? Staying in San Diego.

Juan Pierre? Running the bases for the Cubbies.

Mark Loretta? He's coming to Boston for the springtime.

Alfonso Soreiano? Washington, DC.

Mark Grudzelainckneckack? Not in St Louis, anymore.

Bobby Abreu? If he lands in the Loo, I will eat my hat.

Barry Zito? That'd be nice.

Nomar Garciaparra? Not unless "Two Guys, A Girl, And A Pizza Place" comes back on the air.

Larry Fucking Bigbie? St. Louis. Great.

Just fucking great.

Some great off season moves so far by the Cardinals. Nearly half of the damn team from last year has already left town. The Cardinals ownership were selling every thing from the now deceased Busch II, and yet payroll still stays put at $90 Mil.

They're selling urinals and god damn used ketchup containers from the old stadium to turn a buck, and they still can't sign a decent second baseman?

We're going to be stuck with Luis Alicia at second next year, aren't we?

I've always trusted Cardinal's GM Walt Jocketty before, and I wouldn't be surprised if he's got an ace up his sleeve to surprise all of us with, but this stingy ownership group is starting to fucking get to me.

As always, the voice of reason is in the back of my head letting me know that "you're getting way too worked up about baseball. It's fucking December, Al...Lighten up. You should be worrying about what CDs you want for Christmas or what day is St. Nickalous day (anyone out there know?); or, if you really need to get worked up about sports your beloved Packers are horrible. Worry about them. Or about how Illinois' Basketball team is extremely vulnerable right now. Actually, why don't you worry about the fact that you don't have a fucking job? That should be more important, shouldn't it?"

Yeah, it should...but Larry Fucking Bigbie? That's precisely what we need.

Sweet Jebus Fuck, man.

SERENITY NOW!

Comments:
Son of a Biscuit!! St. Nick's day was two damn days ago! I totally forgot to put my shoe out. (I hope other families do this. The kids put out there disgusting, stinky shoes. We usually put ours on the traditional dining room table. And when we woke up, they would be filled candy, which we devoured.....from our nasty....sweaty.....shoes.) Anywho, about these cardinals.... what's the dilly yo? I too am trying to believe that Walt will pull that ace out of his ass and surprise us all. Put its looking pretty bleek so far.
 
Ugh. Dombrowski drops major cash on Todd Jones and Kenny Rogers, and calls the winter meetings "a success?" Puh-leeeeeze.
 
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