Cardinals MySpace Mania!
Yes, Major League Baseball players with freaking MySpace profiles. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Afterall, it seems as if MySpace was created solely for the purpose of helping people hook up with others, and lord knows that if I was a professional athlete, I would be an absolutely horrible person and would be having sex with with every single woman (or, for that matter, mayonnaise sandwich) that I could.
Anyway, as far as the profiles themselves go:
J-Rod's (oh...how I loathe that nickname) page is exactly what I figured it would be. Pictures of rather attractive ladies with large chests, him with his crew, and some motorcycle pics. Plus, he has always struck me as the type of guy who would take a picture of himself while standing topless in front of a mirror... and as it turns out, he in fact is. Yikes.
Tyler's page is actually kind of cute. You've got Wayne Hagin's call of his MLB debut and lot's of Cardinal's stuff all over the place. Also, he may or may not be friends with Al Hrabosky's daughter, so he's got that going for him... Which is nice. It's obvious that he's enjoying playing for the Cardinals. Good for him.
Anthony's page, however, is the one which causes me the most worries. I just don't think that the Cardinal's most highly touted pitching prospect since Rick Ankiel should have pictures of himself doing shots (jagermeister?) on his MySpace profile.
[Insert easy Sidney Ponson joke here.]
Just take it easy out there, Anthony.
Be young, awesome, and have a hell of a time, but for the love of crap, take it easy out there.
Bottom line, there's nothing to worry about. The myspace page is just for fun; something to entertain himself with, keep in touch with friends, etc. I just think it's funny how everyone takes things so seriously; I say everyone should stop worrying about it and just enjoy the little glimpse into Anthony's personal life.
In any event, great article, laughed my ass off.
But the fake MLB MySpace profiles are alot of fun, too. Most noteably Carl Everett's and Royce Claytons.
just thought that was worth mentioning
seriously though, man, chill no one is saying that tony can't go out and have a good time and enjoy his life as a professional baseball player. but realize that a lot of us have vested interst in the St. Louis Cardinals Baseball Club Oranization and it means the world to us whether they win or lose.
again, I'm sure that he is a cool guy and that he works out and knows that baseball comes first. But don't blame us for raising our eyebrows at his profile. especially after a case like Rick "I had sex with Adrian Saxe" Ankiel
Seriously, from what it sounds like Reyes has an awesome workout regimen and is keeping himself in top playing shape.
And if he wants to go out and party, more power to him. He's young and should be having the time of his life.
Again, just be careful. That's all I'm saying/
Oh, and don't think I don't know what I am talking about. I am one of JROD's friends on myspace. Im in his top 400, look me up.
I think it's great that he wants to have a website to help him connect with the fans, but that one's obviously just got the fans laughing uncomfortably. Look, dudes: the difference between Peyton Manning and Ryan Leaf had nothing to do with skill or talent, and everything to do with maturity. It doesn't have anything to do with booze. It's the juvenile nature of the webpage that's so laughably horrific. And like I said, you're throwing gasoline on the fire with these asinine, insulting comments that completely miss the point. You owe Alex an apology, and probably ought to tone it down if you don't want to create further concern among Cardinal Nation with these childish responses that completely miss the point of this post.
And that goes especially for someone like Tyler Johnson, who will probably never be an all-star (although he seems like an extremely nice guy and I wish him nothing but the best of luck. Hopefully he wins the Cy Young and leads the club to a World Series victory in three years and I eat my words), I think having a MySpace profile is, indeed, a great way for friends and family of his to keep up on his career.
However, Anthony is one of the top pitching prospects in all of baseball, and I'm not exactly sure he needs to give opposing fans (and players, for that matter) ammunition by maintaining a MySpace profile. I'm sure it was cool for him to have as a minor leaguer [which for all intents and purposes is a continuation of college life (and in case you were wondering, I too have good friends who play AA & AAA ball. I know the lifestyle quite well. But, thanks for trying to tell me how it really is, people)] but it may very well be time for him to close up shop on these here Internets and become a little more of a introvert. There are a lot of bad people out there who would love to take advantage of a good guy like him and make him look quite the fool.
Also, when I think of professional baseball players, I think of guys like Bob Gibson, Will Clark, and Albert Pujols. And I can't really imagine any of them having a freaking MySpace page.
Also, if you couldn't tell that this page is humor based by my mentioning that I'd like to deflower a mayo sandwich, you may be taking life a little too seriously.
Or you may just love putting yourself inside of food. Either way.
But Rory Gilmore has a page, so I'm thinking about joining?
I thought the mayo sandwich thing was legit. Mayo. The finest condiment for intercourse. Ask for it by name.
Word Verification Word? auzvcuby, or Aw you zuck Cubbie