Cardinals MySpace Mania!

With an appreciative tip 'o the cap to Liam from over at Hey...Listen, I give you three reasons that I am concerned with the future of the Cardinals franchise:
  1. Anthony Reyes
  2. Tyler Johnson
  3. John Rodriguez

Yes, Major League Baseball players with freaking MySpace profiles. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Afterall, it seems as if MySpace was created solely for the purpose of helping people hook up with others, and lord knows that if I was a professional athlete, I would be an absolutely horrible person and would be having sex with with every single woman (or, for that matter, mayonnaise sandwich) that I could.

Anyway, as far as the profiles themselves go:

J-Rod's (oh...how I loathe that nickname) page is exactly what I figured it would be. Pictures of rather attractive ladies with large chests, him with his crew, and some motorcycle pics. Plus, he has always struck me as the type of guy who would take a picture of himself while standing topless in front of a mirror... and as it turns out, he in fact is. Yikes.

Tyler's page is actually kind of cute. You've got Wayne Hagin's call of his MLB debut and lot's of Cardinal's stuff all over the place. Also, he may or may not be friends with Al Hrabosky's daughter, so he's got that going for him... Which is nice. It's obvious that he's enjoying playing for the Cardinals. Good for him.

Anthony's page, however, is the one which causes me the most worries. I just don't think that the Cardinal's most highly touted pitching prospect since Rick Ankiel should have pictures of himself doing shots (jagermeister?) on his MySpace profile.

[Insert easy Sidney Ponson joke here.]

Just take it easy out there, Anthony.

Be young, awesome, and have a hell of a time, but for the love of crap, take it easy out there.

I actually think this is pretty hilarious. I actually know Anthony personally and to tell you the truth, I've never known anyone to work harder at keeping himself in playing shape. He works out, throws and runs on a daily basis; his regimen is just ridiculous. Sure, I admit that he may go out and party every once in a great while, but to tell the truth, it really isn't that often. Even when he does go, although he might have a drink or two, he rarely goes out and gets drunk.

Bottom line, there's nothing to worry about. The myspace page is just for fun; something to entertain himself with, keep in touch with friends, etc. I just think it's funny how everyone takes things so seriously; I say everyone should stop worrying about it and just enjoy the little glimpse into Anthony's personal life.

In any event, great article, laughed my ass off.
Are they legitimate?

(i can't check myspace at work)
Yeah, they're the real ones.

But the fake MLB MySpace profiles are alot of fun, too. Most noteably Carl Everett's and Royce Claytons.
Johnson's debut involved walking Corey Patterson. Good grief, NO ONE walks Corey Patterson. I'm surprised Patterson knew he was supposed to go to first base.
after looking around Tyler Johnson's page, i noticed that he is dating al hrabosky's daughter, who also has a page.

just thought that was worth mentioning
Hah!! And of course you are some sports analyst who knows and can evaluate these guys on myspace right? Why don’t you get a life and stop stalking these guys myspace accounts like a mass murderer. How about getting a life?! Perhaps stalking these players and fulfilling your obsession of what these guys do off the field, does something “special” for you. I’m assuming you have an extensive background in analyzing people and evaluating right? From the sound of it, you seem to be some sick and twisted, lazy slob who does nothing else but attempt to make up false rumors of these talented athletes to make yourself feel like a champ. They obviously have done something right to get where they are! And guess what's really weird; THEYRE HUMAN! So yes, of course they’re going to have myspace accounts, yes they are going to have a personal life, families, girlfriends, alcohol, what ever the heck they want! What they do off the field is NONE of your business and it’s no where near the ideas you’re creating! You're from St. Louis?!? Whata fan huh? I have never heard anything so far from the truth and it bothers me that there are psychotic people in this world like you that have nothing better to do. You probably study these guys by yourself in a dark room. Way to go with the evaluations guy! You're doing a great job! What's next Dr. Fritz!?! Way to study the Cardinal franchise, bet that’s why they made it high in playoffs huh? Way to go Dr. Alex Fritz, you're a real genius
wow! That's a good analysis of anthony reyes, too bad you don't know the real anthony reyes like I do. I have been anthony's friend for 10 years and can tell you this, he is probably the nicest guy that you could ever meet. The reason why he created the myspace account was to keep in contact with his friends, family, and most important his fans. Also to set the record straight anthony is not a party animal and does not go out everyday night getting drunk or looking for women since he is usually too tired to do so from his intense work outs. His usual daily workout consists of a 5 mile run, 2 hours of lifting, 1 hour of abs and lower back, various shoulder exercises, and throwing a bullpen at our old high school. He understands that nothing is guaranteed in professional baseball and has to work hard to get where he wants to be and stay there. If you want anymore questions answered feel free to contact on myspace. My name is mike and just click on my profile it is on anthony's top 8.
yeah, how ridiculous it is for someone to see pics of anthony at a bar doing jargerbombs and assume he likes to go out and party. I mean, where would we get that impression?

seriously though, man, chill no one is saying that tony can't go out and have a good time and enjoy his life as a professional baseball player. but realize that a lot of us have vested interst in the St. Louis Cardinals Baseball Club Oranization and it means the world to us whether they win or lose.

again, I'm sure that he is a cool guy and that he works out and knows that baseball comes first. But don't blame us for raising our eyebrows at his profile. especially after a case like Rick "I had sex with Adrian Saxe" Ankiel
Ha! Grain of salt here, people!

Seriously, from what it sounds like Reyes has an awesome workout regimen and is keeping himself in top playing shape.

And if he wants to go out and party, more power to him. He's young and should be having the time of his life.

Again, just be careful. That's all I'm saying/
This is freakin hilarious! Youre all flippin out because the kid had one shot of jager in a picture? I admit I work at a bar that these players go to after games and I have never seen anthony there. If you guys are freakin out over him and one shot you have a lot of lesrning to do about some of these other players. You all should be thanking anthony for not being like some of his teamates. Anyways the kid is only 24, he should be having a shot every now and then. If I had what that guy has Id be celebrating daily.hot baseball contract, great player, young, hot girlfriend. Why shouldnt he have a shot! Thats nothing compared to these other guys
Oh my god. Are these comments fuckin' serious? Al, what kind of people do you have reading this website? Seriously, you guys who claim to be anthony's friends, do you fucking google his name and try to find out everything thats being written about him and then you just happened to stumble across this site? That must be the case, because otherwise you would realize that this is a HUMOR, sport blog. Anthony Reyes is definitely allowed to have some shots every now and then, but when he signed that contract, he is saying that he is part of a PROFESSIONAL baseball team and with that he must show integrity across the board and not fucking post pictures of himself drinking. Thats just fucking retarded on his part. me2424, you must be his cunt girlfriend or one of his homosexual friends that really, really just wants to cuddle with Anthony. Fuck you, im out.
Oh, and don't think I don't know what I am talking about. I am one of JROD's friends on myspace. Im in his top 400, look me up.
Fuckin' faggots.
I can't put it as harshly (or hilariously) as Mozzy there, but you kids aren't doing your buddy any favors going around and starting flamewars with Cardinals' fans. Maybe you don't realize how brightly #23's star is shining above St. Louis right now. If you did, you'd realize how bizarre and funny it is that he's got a fucking myspace page that might be considered "cool" if it belonged to a high school pitcher.

I think it's great that he wants to have a website to help him connect with the fans, but that one's obviously just got the fans laughing uncomfortably. Look, dudes: the difference between Peyton Manning and Ryan Leaf had nothing to do with skill or talent, and everything to do with maturity. It doesn't have anything to do with booze. It's the juvenile nature of the webpage that's so laughably horrific. And like I said, you're throwing gasoline on the fire with these asinine, insulting comments that completely miss the point. You owe Alex an apology, and probably ought to tone it down if you don't want to create further concern among Cardinal Nation with these childish responses that completely miss the point of this post.
Liam, you are exactly right that the MySpace pages of these guys are very cool simply for the fact that it allows them to interact with their friends, their family, and their fans.

And that goes especially for someone like Tyler Johnson, who will probably never be an all-star (although he seems like an extremely nice guy and I wish him nothing but the best of luck. Hopefully he wins the Cy Young and leads the club to a World Series victory in three years and I eat my words), I think having a MySpace profile is, indeed, a great way for friends and family of his to keep up on his career.

However, Anthony is one of the top pitching prospects in all of baseball, and I'm not exactly sure he needs to give opposing fans (and players, for that matter) ammunition by maintaining a MySpace profile. I'm sure it was cool for him to have as a minor leaguer [which for all intents and purposes is a continuation of college life (and in case you were wondering, I too have good friends who play AA & AAA ball. I know the lifestyle quite well. But, thanks for trying to tell me how it really is, people)] but it may very well be time for him to close up shop on these here Internets and become a little more of a introvert. There are a lot of bad people out there who would love to take advantage of a good guy like him and make him look quite the fool.

Also, when I think of professional baseball players, I think of guys like Bob Gibson, Will Clark, and Albert Pujols. And I can't really imagine any of them having a freaking MySpace page.

Also, if you couldn't tell that this page is humor based by my mentioning that I'd like to deflower a mayo sandwich, you may be taking life a little too seriously.

Or you may just love putting yourself inside of food. Either way.

Alex Fritz
MySpace is the internet's biggest armpit.

But Rory Gilmore has a page, so I'm thinking about joining?
I like the fact that JRod's heroes are God, God, God, God, and God. Which, by the way, is one helluva an awesome law firm.

I thought the mayo sandwich thing was legit. Mayo. The finest condiment for intercourse. Ask for it by name.

Word Verification Word? auzvcuby, or Aw you zuck Cubbie
J-Rod shut his down.
WOW top 400 on a ballplayers myspace. you must rub one out over that every night. News Flash people. Ballplayers are real people who have real lives outside of baseball. So what if the guy has a shot and someone takes a pic. Last i checked it wasnt illegal for anyone over 21 to have a shot and get their pic taken doing it. Get a clue.
Everybody shut up and smoke cock. You're fucking retarded.

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