Games and Spam

I can not believe I have never heard of the game Over The Line before, but now that I have, it is one I simply must play. In fact, I need a league. I demand one!

Mozzy, if you're reading this (and you are) I officially nominate you (yes, you) as the Chairman of The Theodore Donald 'Donny' Kerabatsos Memorial Over The Line League (Dogtown Chapter).

You set up the tourney and I'll be there with beers on.

It's a simple game. Here's the basics:

"Over-The-Line was invented in the sands of San Diego years ago. It is named after its objective (to hit a heavy, foamy orange ball "over the line" in the sand 55 feet away from home plate). It is played with three players on each team on a court shaped like a pencil -- a triangle with home plate set atop a long narrow rectangle of fair territory. Teammates "pitch" to the batter from their knees beside them like a soft-toss drill. Batters must hit it over the line and within the two sides of the rectangle foul lines. If they do this without the ball being caught by one of their opponents, it's a base hit. Hit it fair and over all three fielders and it's a home run. There are no bases to run to after the ball is struck, as ghost runners bear the leg work so players can stay cool and not worry about spilling their cocktails, which are never far from hand ... especially in the hours between each game spent boozing at the tents surrounding the entire field of play."

It's on bitches. I'm going to mash.

I may be alone in this one, but I love spam. Yeah it's annoying and can cause "viruses" (although it really only works if you have an IQ below 7 and actually fall for it) but quite often it is ricockulous and, well, hilarious.

Even better, when an e-mail sneaks past G-Mail's handy spam blocker and finds its way into my inbox and I'm bored. That's right about the time I like to hit the reply button. Case in point (and please don't feel obliged to read the first message, for brevity's sake, it's simply a standard spam e-mail.):

On 7/18/06, National Lottery Board <lottooffice218@walla.com> wrote:
P O Box 1010, L70 1NL Liverpool, UNITED KINGDOM (Customer Services)
Ref: LSLUK/2031/8161/04
Batch: R3/A312-59Winning No:701/RMD123
Attn: We happily announce to you the draw of the Bono Lottery International Program held on the 15th of July, 2006. Your name "email address" was attached to ticket number; 12324277 serial number 6663817262 This batch draws the lucky numbers as follows 2-9-22-23-24-30 bonus number 5, which consequently won the lottery in the second category. You hereby have been approved lump sum pay of £1,800,000.00 (ONE MILLION EIGHT HUNDRED THOUSAND POUNDS)

file Ref: FER/8309/1209/26 from the total cash prize of 18,000,000.00 shared amongst ten lucky winners based on their category. All participants "email address" were selected through a computer balloting system drawn from Nine hundred thousand names from Canada, Australia, United States, Asia, Europe, Middle East, Africa and Oceanic as part of our international promotions program which is conducted annually.This Lottery was promoted and sponsored by some multinational companies as including Bill Gates, and some other EU governmental personalities part of their social responsibility to the citizens in the communities where they have operational base.

To process your claims you are hereby advice to contact the The promotions Manager with this information:


Needless to say, I was super excited!

On 7/18/06 Alxfritz@gmail.com wrote:

On 7/18/06, National Lottery Board <lottooffice218@walla.com> wrote:
Send your details as soon as possible and get your winnings sent to you.

Rosemary Craig.

Man, I'm really happy I won this European lottery I've never heard of! What are the odds?! I better send them my info. Oh, how I want that money!

On 7/18/06 Alxfritz@gmail.com wrote:
Mail the check to:
Go to hell
You douchebag.

I wonder if they'll actually respond?

[three minutes later]:

On 7/18/06, National Lottery Board <lottooffice218@walla.com> wrote:
this is how you people mis opportunities.......

It is?!?

On 7/18/06 Alxfritz@gmail.com wrote:

That's also how one misspells the word "miss"... If you're going to try scamming people, at least be professional about it (ie. capitalization, punctuation, spelling, etc.)

Also, just to make this crystal clear, you are pathetic.

See you in hell.

I still haven't heard back from them, but as soon as I get that money, it's a round of drinks on this guy. (note - my thumbs are pointing back towards my chest.)

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