A First Name Basis

His name is Jeff.

I'd love to say that I cracked this mystery using some devious scheme like renting an Impala, a siren, and a police officer's uniform and pulling him over while leaving work to get a glimpse at his drivers license ("But wouldn't he have recognized you, Al?" you ask. To which I respond "Shut up.") But in fact, it was nothing more than one of my coworkers finally calling him by name while I was within earshot.

But why did it take three months for someone to finally say his name? Did nobody else know it either? Was I not alone with this? Who found Jeff's name out first? And why didn't they inform me when they did? Or, in fact, did they?

So many questions... so few answers.

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"I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize the state of Missouri."