Thursday Quick Thoughts

Thanks to links from Deadspin, The Riverfront Times, and a slew of message boards, The FYC is having its most popular week ever! Nearly all of these links are here to view the Glorious Chris Duncan Dry Humping the World Series Trophy pics, a page which is quickly becoming the most viewed post in this virtual rags history – which is either saying something about the awesomeness of those pictures or about the quality of my work – what exactly it’s saying I don’t know, but I have a feeling it’s “YOU SUCK! DUNC ROCKS!”

Anyway, if I was a huge tool, I’d say something like “We’re getting 5,000 unique visitors a day!” Alas, I am only a small tool, so I will just mention it in passing. But I will say this to anybody new to The FYC: Stop reading it. Right now. Save yourself the trouble.

If you don’t stop now, in a few weeks, you’ll be sitting at your computer, reading this shit and you’ll say to yourself “All this douchebag does is talk about drinking with his “buddy Mozzy” (who may or may not even really exist), how he beat Contra while naked last week, and how much he’d like to open mouth kiss Adam Wainwright. Why the fuck am I reading this?” Then you’ll close out your browser and get back to doing what you do best: masturbating to tranny porn.

So I’ll save you the trouble. Just stop reading this now.

Thank you.

The Lady Friend and I went and saw a screening for “Stranger Than Fiction” last night. Good movie, not great… but definitely good. However, I would like to announce to America that it is not necessary to laugh every time Will Ferrell does something. Look, I love the guy too, and lord knows “Old School” and his SNL clips have left me laughing many a nights, but “Stranger than Fiction” really wasn’t too much of a comedy. I know that you think you’re supposed to laugh when you see Will Ferrell do something, but you don’t have to. Especially when he’s not even doing something funny.

Buster Bluth, on the other hand...

I haven’t seen a teenager in at least three years that I wouldn’t like to slap. Are we raising a generation of dickbags? When did I become a 75 year old man? Get off my lawn!

Based on Valatan’s advice, I switching my political allegiances to the Know Nothing party. I’ve always hated Catholics and as far as I'm concerned immigrants can go to hell, too (unless they’ve lived here for 21 years).

I’m getting heated up for some college b-ball, especially this year’s Busch Braggin’ Rights game. Illinois might be struggling and Mizzou might be improving, so maybe this year it won’t be a 40 point blowout. My prediction? Illinois by 38. Anyway, to help get you ready, too, here’s a clip via IlliniWonk of Brian Randle doing what he does. I coached that kid in a basketball camp when he was in 7th grade, and I’m pretty sure he was able to do this back then, too. Although my mind may be cloudy from all the box wine and naked Contra. Enjoy:

I'm like your Tyler Durden.
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"I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize the state of Missouri."