All Time Drinkin' Buddies

Tuesday I listed my top-5 for "What five people, living or dead, would you most like to have some drinks with." It was:

1. Ted Williams
2. Dean Martin
3. Mike Shannon
4. Frank Sinatra
5. Christopher Hewett

One through four of those are all killer choices. Number five, however, is where I choked. I couldn’t come up with a name fast enough [I’m not sure if you notice, but when writing this virtual bird cage liner, if I can’t think of something to write within five seconds, I just say something about drinking or penises (or penises drinking). This time, for whatever reason, I turned to the rock* who helped make me the man** I am today: Mr Belvedere.] so I just went ahead and used the guy who played that loveable, pompous butler: Christopher Hewett, because that was the easiest quasi-joke I could come up with in less than five seconds.

But I got to thinking today... who would be my real number five? ("real" of course still being fantasy. Whatever.) The short list would include: James K. Polk, Tommie Smith, Jesus (or, if he's unavailable, Apollo Creed), Joe Kennedy, Jack Kerouac, Bob Marley,and Bob Zimmerman Dylan

All pretty damn decent choices.But I decided on the winner while stumbling across ESPN 2 Tuesday night. Former President Gerald Ford was on discussing how intense the rivalry between Michigan - Ohio State is. I started thinking to myself -- "This is a man who used to lead the free world (kind of)... and now he's on TV talking about football? That's just all kinds of awesome, right there."

Truthfully, I may not be able to express how cool it was to see this, so I'll let Al Hrabosky do it for me. Take it away, Al!

"See, here's a guy, he's a former President of the United States. Not only that, but he was a football player in college as well as being the President of the United States. As President of the American, he was a former college football player and and and for him to come out and talk about the rivalry between Ohies State and Michicamp not only says leaps and bounds about why he was President, but also that he was a football player in college before becoming Mayor McCheese. And 'member, when you hear "Al Hrabosky's Ballpark Saloon", think about good times, great drinks, and John Rodriguez in a poorly buttoned green silk shirt!"

Thanks, Al.

I think that's my new #5. I should have figured it out after his "cameo" on "The Simpsons" but Gerald Ford, myself, and a few delectable pints of Sam Adams Winter Lager would go together like a spoon of sour cream on top of a slice of pepperoni pizza.

(Sweet fuck that sounds good.)

So that's the end of my top 5 all time drinkin' buddies list. Who's on your list?

*In this case, “rock” means “fat, condescending television character butler.”

** Where in the hell do I get off calling myself a man?

I think drinking with the guys from the Scorpions would be a good time. Maybe.
Maybe someday you can have a drink with Teddy Ballgame's defrosted, cracked head.
Maybe someday you can have a drink with Teddy Ballgame's defrosted, cracked head.

That might just be my favorite comment ever.
I would like to keep Christopher Hewitt in a large glass jar in my basement.

Best SNL skit ever.
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