Friday Hypertexts

I somehow made it six weeks without buying any Cardinals 2006 World Series Championship gear. Why? Because I didn't want to settle for just some average tee celebrating the World Series win. Since this was the weirdest World Series winner ever, I wanted to find the weirdest piece of memorabilia I could.

Anything less would be a disservice to Preston, Yadi, So, Larry Bigbie, Jorge Sosa, and the rest of our World Champion Cardinals.

Then, yesterday, while grabbing some groceries at Schnucks, I found it: The most ridiculous piece of championship memorable produced.

Needless to say, I now own one piece of Cardinals 2006 World Series Championship gear.


A ban I can get behind? No cell phones allowed at Avantis restaurant in Peoria, IL. Now not only does Avanti's have the greatest sandi in the world (the Gondola), but they have a policy which I wholeheartedly support. If they start to let their customers bludgeon anyone using a Bluetooth while eating with a loaf of bread, I would think about franchising one myself.


Now, I'm not saying that "Who do you think you are? Fucking Nelly?" isn't the funniest thing you could say before robbing a priest of his gold crucifix, but it's not not the funniest thing you could say.


Speaking of the most dangerous city in America....



Look who's the "Blog 'O The Week" in St. Louis this week!

I could not be happier that the blog post they decided to quote contained the phrase "God Shit." If this helps to put "God Shit" out onto the streets and into the American lexicon, I think I will be high in the running for "Man of the Year."

Also, It's official: American culture has hit a new all-time low.


The Lady Friend and I are hosting an Ugly Sweater / Wine Fest / Drinko Tourney at our casa this Saturday night, and I can't believe I didn't think of this before, but I am afraid that I will be spending the majority of my time at the party in constant fear of being shocked by static electricity.*

40-some-odd people, all wearing sweaters, crammed into my apartment, all chest bumping each other from time to time (our friends are really into chest bumps. Don't ask.)? Thank God we have hardwood floors.

This party + Carpet = Disaster.

[have a great weekend everybody. do your best to keep warm. even if it means lots and lots of vodka and casual sex.**]

*Note - The majority of my time Saturday night will actually be spent pantsless in the bathtub, passed out in a tub full of sweedish meatballs.

**Casual sex with hobos*** counts, too.

***Note - I said "hobos," you creep.

I love the times of your posts, so since I can't sleep and am playing online Euchre to try to make myself tired, the least I could do is get in on the action.
The beauty of working the third shifty: I get bored right around 2:30 every morn. Boredom = Blog.

They have euchre online now? Well kiss my grits. I need to get in on that.

(Also, are we sure it's spelled "Euchre?" I have always wondered about that.)
The warm beer story is one the funniest I have ever seen. I think the best part is that it is true.

Any guesses how many women in the world actually drink Stag?
Tito like Gondolas!!
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"I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize the state of Missouri."