Happy Saint Swiggins Day, Aunt Hellga!

It's the big Holiday weekend; if you're at work right now, you have my deepest sympathies. Hopefully today's youtubed out post can help you waste some of your companies precious, precious bandwidth. If you're reading this at home, may I suggest eating a sandwich and, perhaps, getting a life.

Today's first clip is of Darlene Love performing "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)" on Letterman, circa 1995. To me, this is the greatest Christmas song ever made by a producer who is currently free on $1 million bail after, um, murdering someone. What I would love to do is bring you the clip from "Goodfellas" where all the guys are at the bar and Jimmy Conway starts freaking out because Fat Louie bought a Cadillac and that fucking wop Carbone went out and got his wife a fur coat for Christmas (when they were supposed to be laying low and not spending any of their "loot"), but apparently it's not out on the Ebays yet. Anyway, this song is playing in the background of that scene, and someday when I'm older and connected to the mob and Italian, I hope to spend Christmas at a bar, intimidating my friends who just helped me steal millions of dollars (nothing like the Holidays, you know?) and this song will be playing on the jukeboxen:

Up next is some Peanuts action, "O Tannenbaum" performed by the Vince Guaraldi Trio.
I picked up this soundtrack earlier this month and it's balls. Makes me want to sip whiskey and wear fancy hats:

Here's some sort of Scrubs/Charlie Brown Christmas mash-up. It, like virtually every mash-up ever made, both intrigues and scares me. Also, I have to go to the bathroom:

This next one is my favorite SNL skit of all time. It probably has nothing to do with Christmas as far as you're concerned, but it reminds me of when my cousins and I used to get all hopped up on 'ludes Christmas night, then go down to the mission to help feed the drifters. We would then kill them in order to get erections:

Sticking with SNL, this time with a more traditional Christmas theme, here's the lost ending to "It's A Wonderful Life":

"Why, you're nothing but a fraud! You're not even a cripple!"

There you are folks, a holiday video spectacular! Now get off the computer, find some misletoe, and go make out with everything you see.

[Have a great long weekend, everybody. Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, Rockin' Ramadan, Krazy Kwanzaa, and Kick Ass Whatever the Hell Else you weirdos celebrate (fucking Pagans and Baptists.) If you still haven't gotten that special someone in your life that special something that they deserve, might I suggest you do what I do: Tie a bow around your wang.]

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"I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize the state of Missouri."