12/29/2006
So It Has Come To This...
The most boring blog post of the year: The one where some jerkass talks about his or her resolutions for the upcoming year.
Lets just go ahead and get this shit over with...
For what seems like every new year of my adult life, I have had the same resolution: To play more golf. I plan on keeping this resolution around until I play at least nine holes every day for 365 straight days. Feasible? Of course not. But nothing in my life really is.
So along with “play more golf,” I have two more resolutions for 2K7:
1. Play (and win) the lottery
2. Ride in a hot air balloon.
Now, you may say to yourself “Play the lottery? That might just be the worst resolution ever! Would you like some of my wine?”
And you wouldn’t be wrong. It really isn’t that great of a resolution. However, I am fairly certain that I would be the best lottery winner in the history of lottery winners. Here are some of my rather compelling arguments as to why I should play (and win) the lottery (and yes, I would love some of your wine, thank you.):
As for the “Ride in a hot air balloon” resolution, I have a new goal in life: To do something completely random and rather stupid every year and then write about it. In 2006, I got to be a bullpen catcher for a game (random) and did so without wearing a cup (completely and totally stupid).
In 2007, I would like to either ride in a hot air balloon or spend a month in a Japanese insane asylum. Since I don’t plan on going to Japan any time soon, hot air balloon it is.
And how do we get this new, lottery winning, hot air balloon riding year started? With a non-traditional NYE party, of course! The Lady Friend and I are tossing aside the strapping burdens of your bourgeois elaborate parties for the relaxed (albeit it rocking) atmosphere of a good old fashioned Dogtown kegger. No fancy pants and dress shirts this year for Al (hopefully no soggy apps and sharts like last year, either), just a pair of old jeans and a rousing match of Drinko; I expect to be half naked and hollowing at the moon by 11 o’clock.
(Although, truth be told, I am a little disappointed that I’m not going to this.)
Here’s hoping you and yours have a successful (perhaps black out?) NYE, Internets.
[have a great weekend, kids. don’t drink too much cold duck. or do. actually, that sounds like fun. correction: do drink too much cold duck.]
Lets just go ahead and get this shit over with...
For what seems like every new year of my adult life, I have had the same resolution: To play more golf. I plan on keeping this resolution around until I play at least nine holes every day for 365 straight days. Feasible? Of course not. But nothing in my life really is.
So along with “play more golf,” I have two more resolutions for 2K7:
1. Play (and win) the lottery
2. Ride in a hot air balloon.
Now, you may say to yourself “Play the lottery? That might just be the worst resolution ever! Would you like some of my wine?”
And you wouldn’t be wrong. It really isn’t that great of a resolution. However, I am fairly certain that I would be the best lottery winner in the history of lottery winners. Here are some of my rather compelling arguments as to why I should play (and win) the lottery (and yes, I would love some of your wine, thank you.):
- I would really like to be rich and I think I would be good at it. Honestly, I wouldn’t cause any trouble; I’d simply build a house on a lake in Southern Indiana and spend my days listening to baseball on the radio, drinking whiskey and ginger ales, and staring at the water. You would probably never hear from me again, but you’re more than welcome to stop by the lake any time you want and stay for as long as you’d like, there are more than enough beds. We’re serving tomato and cheddar cheese omelets in the morning.
- I’m pretty much the perfect lottery winner: A recently engaged, former Marine who is now working a rather mundane, typical, mid-level sysadmin job? That’s got “Fucking Lottery Winner” written all over it.
- The only thing I don’t have going for me (when it comes to “typical lottery winner”) is that I am not poor. But I am also not exactly rich, either, so hopefully it all balances out.
As for the “Ride in a hot air balloon” resolution, I have a new goal in life: To do something completely random and rather stupid every year and then write about it. In 2006, I got to be a bullpen catcher for a game (random) and did so without wearing a cup (completely and totally stupid).
In 2007, I would like to either ride in a hot air balloon or spend a month in a Japanese insane asylum. Since I don’t plan on going to Japan any time soon, hot air balloon it is.
And how do we get this new, lottery winning, hot air balloon riding year started? With a non-traditional NYE party, of course! The Lady Friend and I are tossing aside the strapping burdens of your bourgeois elaborate parties for the relaxed (albeit it rocking) atmosphere of a good old fashioned Dogtown kegger. No fancy pants and dress shirts this year for Al (hopefully no soggy apps and sharts like last year, either), just a pair of old jeans and a rousing match of Drinko; I expect to be half naked and hollowing at the moon by 11 o’clock.
(Although, truth be told, I am a little disappointed that I’m not going to this.)
Here’s hoping you and yours have a successful (perhaps black out?) NYE, Internets.
[have a great weekend, kids. don’t drink too much cold duck. or do. actually, that sounds like fun. correction: do drink too much cold duck.]
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