2/06/2007

 

Vote Fritz (Someday)

The Monday post Super Bowl not being a holiday is one of the sure signs that the terrorists have won. How is this still possible? Does anyone enjoy going to work the day after the Super Bowl? And this has been going on for 41 years now, and beaten into the ground by lazy smart people this entire time? And still...

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: Democracy simply does not work.

And while I am lucky enough to not work on Mondays anyway (meaning that I was free to drink all the whiskey gingers my belly could handle during the big, crappy game), I could still really use today off. Which got me thinking about:

The Four Day Work Week.

This is one of my grandest ideas and one which I feel the most passionate about. Here's the plan: Everybody works ten to eleven hours a day, from either Monday to Thursday or Tuesday to Friday (rotating to fit one’s schedule if need be). You still get in 40+ hours of work every week, all five working days are covered, but you have a three day weekend every week.

I really need to get voted into Congress and make this happen. This is why nobody can know about all those hookers I killed outside of Houston in July of 1991. Good thing I have a clean record.

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Alternative Programming: Because every good baseball park needs a grocery store:

"The Cardinals Experience will combine a restaurant and Cardinals Hall of Fame museum, featuring memorabilia and a spot where future inductions can be held, DeWitt said. A grocery store, bookstore, a place for live music and brew pub are among the potential tenants being considered."

Live music? Cool.
Brew pub? Awesome.
Book store? Indifferent.
Grocery store? Greatest idea ever.

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"I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize the state of Missouri."