Zack, I am not a matador so take the bull outside!

I recently had my g-mail made available on my cell phone, in part because if The Lady Friend wants anything, it’s for me to play with my cell phone more when we’re in public, but mainly because this was the pic that went along with said download:

Oh man! Hawaii with Buck Rogerson, Caitlin’s surprise party, sushi with Susan (who, truthfully I never cared for; she’s a bit of a pill), and Nathan’s having a bbq on Saturday! I want that life!

Then I realized that these are the actual message sitting in my cell phone right now:

From Evelio: Do I have to be nice to black people since it’s “their month?”

From Josh: Did you know that there’s such thing as clown porn.
To Josh: There is also mascot porn.
From Josh: Really?
To Josh: Yeah. It’s called like furries or something.
From Josh: This is a strange time and place that we live in.

From Will: Your new name is doctor hoops.
To Will: I like it!
From Will: I need your address so I can send you the pills.

(don’t ask.)

To The Lady Friend: I farted at Schnucks. It reeked. The clerk made a face but didn’t say anything.

From The Lady Friend: It’s Mr Belding!

And ya know… I think I like my life better.

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