4/13/2007
Time Travelin' Juan Encarnacion, Part VI
April 13, 2007: After one too many misadventures through history, Time Travelin' Juan Encarnacion finds himself in the hospital where Tony La Russa visits him. On this very special Dumb Cartoon, lets listen in...
Juan, what's wrong?
Hi skip... I'm so... cold...
Dr Leo Spaceman, what's wrong?
Well, all of this time travel, while helping to make the world a better place, has completely destroyed Juan's DNA. You may notice that's he's much darker now then he was before. Now, to the untrained eye, that may just look like a healthy glow, but science has proven over the years that messed up DNA, caused by too much time travel, darkens the skin.
But I thought Juan was actually a cyborg...
Long answer "yes", with a "but"; short answer "no", with an "if." Cut to the chase, Juan will be dead sometime in between right now and... Oh, jeez, if you'll excuse me, I think I heard my Meat Machine ding. Meat is the new bread.
Oh, my... What have I done? Juan, stay with me!
... Grandma?
Stay away from the light!
Don't cry for me, skip. I'm already dead.
Don't think of it as dying, Juan. You're just being waved around the third base of life, to that big home plate in the sky.
...
Good night, sweet cyborg prince.
-----
Where am I?
Welcome to heaven, Juan!
Jose Oquendo! Wait... are you... you're God?!?
I'm a lot of things.
[have a great friday the 13th weekend, kids. i promise this piece is now over.]
Labels: Dumb Cartoons, Kicking Dead Horses, Time Travelin' Juan Encarnacion
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Dr. Leo Spaceman is one of the most inspired incidental characters in TV history.
"I've always said humans need more animal blood. It keeps their spine straight."
"I've always said humans need more animal blood. It keeps their spine straight."
I believe, for his bravery and courage, MLB should hold a "Juan Encarnacion" day next Sunday and make everyone wear #43.
He was a pioneer of time traveling for baseball players and deserves a tribute.
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He was a pioneer of time traveling for baseball players and deserves a tribute.
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