I Am The World's Greatest Orange Peeler

Yes, That's Right. And I still gots game. I can peel an orange in one peel. If anyone wants to challenge me, go ahead. But you'll lose.

(Man this is a slow night.)

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I'd like to see you peel a tomato like that.
You can peel tomatoes now?
Yes, with my Ginsu knife. I saw the salesman do it.

For only $9.95 I recieved a ginsu knife, a filet knife, a paring knife, a potato spiral slicer, and a juicer.

But wait...if you thought that was a good deal, since I called right now, I also received a second set of never-to-be-used shit for the one time low price of $9.95. I also found out that operators really were standing by.
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"I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize the state of Missouri."