The FYC: Retro Summer '08

6/24/2008

Retro Summer '08

I had a theory which I debuted to skeptic ears at a rocking Summer Solstice bbq Saturday evening:

Summer 2008: Retro Summer!

Everything that has already happened and is about to happen in this glorious, messed up, wicked summer of 2008 already happened before, while my friends and I were all between the ages of nine and sixteen. Cases in point:

Indiana Jones and Batman both having box office smashes. You throw a Dick Tracy into the mix and you've got the scuttlebutt of my entire 4th grade year summed up there.
Floods. Somebody get Gregg Jeffries putting up a 142 OPS+ for the 87-75 Cardinals, and it's 1993 in a nutshell.
Olympics. Who will be this years Shannon Miller? Hopefully nobody since me being attracted to a 15 year old now will get me locked up in federal pound you in the ass prison.
Presidential Elections!! Yay! It's an old white guy against America's first (actual) black president!
Gatorade flavored gum. It's out there somewhere, I just know it.
I'd be willing to bet dollars to tasty Donut Drive-In Donuts that we'll be having a 1995 style heat wave, and I will ride it out with nothing but sleeveless t-s and ice cold iced fucking tea.

That's all I can think of off the top of my head right now, but there's something out there this summer -- (cousin) maybes it's moving into a new house in a new 'hood, maybe it's watching The Burbs (and I went down to the deli to get some of those beef sandwiches) and the 1992 Royal Rumble three times in the last week and a half, maybe it's me masturbating to a copy of Cosmo from 1991 -- but something out there feels right this summer, like I've been there before, and things were right, magical, even.

There are other similarities out there, I'm sure. Drop 'em off below if you got 'em.

(Yes, all of this giddy, god forsaken, fascinating optimism is probably because this is the best I have felt this late into the summer about a Cardinals team since Ought Five and feeling good about the old hometown nine by the time air conditioner weather makes not just for a great summer, but for a great outlook all around. In fact, I'm going to go look at my 1992 Score box set and giggle.)

Labels: More Burbs Refrences Please, Retro Summer, Stuff You Probably Don't Care About