I Am White.

I realized during dinner yesterday that The Wife and I officially are the people this guy has been writing about.

Really white things I did Sunday:

1. Grabbed donuts and coffee at the local donut shop.
2. Drove my Honda to work.
3. Thought about my dog (The Wife took him to a pumpkin patch).
4. Came home from work, read the Sunday paper (excellent endorsement article, by the by).
5. Drove my other Honda to the local Obama office to get a yard sign*
6. Had a very nice sushi dinner at the local sushi spot.
7. Enjoyed an evening of wine, Iron Chef America, Non-Cardinals baseball playoffs, Entourage, and I am Trying to Break Your Heart on the basement couch with the dog and Wife.

On the whiteness scale of one to ten, I think my Sunday came in at an 8.5. A trip to REI/Whole Foods, wearing some North Face stuff, or tossing the Frisbee at the park would have gotten me a ten, but I had to put in seven hours at the ol' air base. Which, I guess, is pretty white too.

My god I've gotten lame in my advanced years.

*I absolutely loathe yard signs, but the neighbor has a McCain/Palin one and we just have to keep up with the Jones.**

**His last name isn't Jones, it's just a saying.***

***Actually, I don't know what his last name is. Maybe it is Jones?

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Referring to #109: "white humor comes from three sources: The Simpsons, Monty Python, and The Onion."

I get 90% of my jokes from Ghostbusters; the muse for the other 10% comes from various bodily functions. In my mind, I'm a freakin' card.
I never got Monty Python (I can't understand what they're saying) and I generally find the Onion to be funny in a "that was funny for thirty seconds type way", but I do get an easy 50% of my humor from The Simpsons, so i definitely fit in there. Another 30% comes from The Burbs, The Big lebowski, and The Jerk.

The remaining 10% goes to making fun of Vince from ShamWOW!
And the other remaining 10% goes to my inability to understand "math" and "statistics."
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