I dare you to read this:

Misunderstanding leads to punch in the face

Peoria - A 69-year-old Table Grove man received a punch to the face on Tuesday after his attacker mistakenly believed his wife had been insulted, police said.

The victim, along with his 69-year-old wife, were in the parking lot of the Luthy Botanical Garden removing his motorized scooter from the trunk of their car about 2:30 p.m. when another vehicle began backing up towards the couple, police reports said.

The victim reportedly yelled at the driver to stop, about the same time he accidentally dropped part of his scooter to the ground and uttered, "Son of a (expletive)1," reports said.

A passenger in the moving car, got out demanding to know what the victim had said. The victim said he tried to explain but was punched in the face and fell to the ground, police said.

The victim's wife told the attacker she was calling police only to have the man allegedly threaten to strike her, as well, police reports said. The driver and attacker then drove off.

The victim told officers he did not direct his comment toward the driver and was just upset about dropping his scooter, reports said.

and not think of this:

Man, I miss Seinfeld. Thank god for the interwebs.

1What if the expletive wasn't "bitch" like you think it was? Maybe he yelled "Son of a Godshit!" or "Son of a fuckcracker!" I'd just like you to keep an open mind when reading "(expletive)" in the future.


If you find yourself in Dogtown tomorrow and notice a sweet smell of hickory and whiskey, that is me, smoking about seven pounds of brisket, sipping some bloody's, sours, and vodkades, sitting in one of these, getting ready for the first big Dogtown 'Q of the summer.

If you're in Dogtown tomorrow and smell something disgusting, that's probably my sweaty softball jersey, rotting in the hamper. TLF is seriously slacking on some laundry.

[have a great solstice weekend, kids. In case you were wondering what is the perfect vodka for a bloody, it is this, it seriously fucking rocks.]

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This just in: Seinfeld was pretty good.

(Watxhed the Keith Hernandez epi recently...still as good now as it was then.
Why does so much funny happen in Peoria? And why didn't someone tell me that I could log into this site with my gmail address?
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