Probably the Only Time "Beaten With Cucumber, Car Keys" Has Ever Been Written. Ever.

This is the type of story which I would normally provide some sort of commentary on. I, however, can not. I'm beyond flustered right now. I'm just really fucking proud of my hometown.

Peorian reportedly beaten with cucumber, car keys

PEORIA - A Central Peoria man was hospitalized early Tuesday for a back injury allegedly inflicted by women armed with bricks, keys and a cucumber.

Ricky D. Dean, 45, and Sara E. Peterson, 22, also of Peoria, were driving in the 2700 block of Trewyn Avenue about 2 a.m. when three women yelled at them to stop their car.

When Dean pulled over, two of the three women, later determined to be Martella M. Brown, 19, and Nicole S. Bailey, 23, approached and started throwing bricks at the car, police said.

Dean got out of the car to confront the women, but continued to be battered by the them. One of them reached inside the car, stole the car keys and then used them to hit Dean, reports said.

As he was hit with the keys, the other woman struck him on the back with a cucumber.

The trio then got into Dean's car and drove away, with Peterson still inside.

Police stopped the car about 30 minutes later in the 3800 block of Southwest Adams Street, but Peterson was not in the car. She was located elsewhere in Harrison Homes uninjured.

Brown, 2718 N. Trewyn Ave., and Bailey, 2414 W. Malone St., were arrested on charges of aggravated battery. Brown also faces a charge of vehicular hijacking for the crime.

The third woman, whose name was not available, was not arrested because she did not partake in the brick-throwing and beating, police said.

Dean, who complained of back pain, was taken to Methodist Medical Center, treated and released.

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Sounds like Ricky Dean really found himself in a pickle.
That Cucumber Beatings tag must be used again.
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