7/31/2007
Jesus Effingham Christ
I love going to my family's cabin in Indiana. It's the perfect place in the world to drink whiskey, bbq, throw some washers, listen to the Cards broadcast from their radio affiliate in historic Linton, In, and watch Mama's Family reruns till my heart is content, all things which I hold both near and dear (that Bubba will just be the death of Mama, no?!). The drive back and forth from the Lou to the lake could use some spicin' up (Directions: Get on 70, set cruise to 74mph, attach the club on the steering wheel to keep it straight, take nap, wake up after three hours, exit at Brazil.), but it does let me catch this glorious, absurd, gaudy sight which looms large over the interstate hamlet of Effingham, Illinois, like a giant looming loom machine:
Every time I see it, I can't help but to think "You know, I bet Jesus would really like that. When He comes back to surprise Liam next week, I bet He'll say 'Fuck spending the money it cost putting up that cross to build some poor people a home and buy them some food; or instead of just donating to help a charity or find a cure for cancer or some shit, nope, build a giant hideous fucking cross over some hick ass town in the middle of fucking nowhere. That will help humanity. You fucking dumb shits. Oh, and thanks for arbitrarily picking the cross to symbolize Me. I love reliving that fucking day every time I check in on you assholes. Me!'"
Jesus curses a lot.
Every time I see it, I can't help but to think "You know, I bet Jesus would really like that. When He comes back to surprise Liam next week, I bet He'll say 'Fuck spending the money it cost putting up that cross to build some poor people a home and buy them some food; or instead of just donating to help a charity or find a cure for cancer or some shit, nope, build a giant hideous fucking cross over some hick ass town in the middle of fucking nowhere. That will help humanity. You fucking dumb shits. Oh, and thanks for arbitrarily picking the cross to symbolize Me. I love reliving that fucking day every time I check in on you assholes. Me!'"
Jesus curses a lot.
Labels: 13 years of Catholic education quickly washed down the drain, Effingham, Mom Jesus Is Cussing Again, Stuff You Probably Don't Care About
